Responding to Complaints

Author: Christopher L. Tang

Everyone makes mistakes. We’re not above that and we don’t expect anyone else to be above making mistakes. If anything, thinking you’ve crossed some kind of enlightenment finish line might even make you more likely to have a blind eye to your errors. Even if you’ve hired consultants, brought on a diverse staff, and have taken even more proactive steps that does not mean you will never misstep. You’ve gotten a complaint and you need to respond. So what now?

Step 1: Don’t Panic

Douglas Adams was right. Even in a real emergency panicking can often make things worse. Take a deep breath and realize this is not the end of the world.

Step 2: Listen

What is this person actually saying AND how did they say it? If they turned this in anonymously (even if you can figure out who it is by context) they likely do not want you to approach them about it. Listen to what they’re saying and think about what they’re saying. Most importantly, take in what they’re saying as a critique coming from someone who cares about your game as much as you do and not an attack.

Step 3: Think

Now think about what specifically was said. For example, they may say that a particular staff member never brings plot to women players. Is there maybe an unconscious bias at work here? On the other hand, maybe this staff member never goes out with plot and the reporter is mistaking this for missing out on plot personally. Maybe this person needs to have plot clarified to them? Maybe the staff member needs to think critically about who they are aiming plots at.

Step 4: Apologize and Ask

During the ‘Think’ step, you may have come to the conclusion that you are in the right on this issue. However, you are a community organizer who is responsible to your players. You are responsible for harm and emotional distress even if it was not intentional. You may have signed up to be a storyteller and a theater director but you’re also a leader and leaders need to acknowledge pain and harm. Once you’ve apologized you can get more detail and ask questions if you need more clarification

Example: Dear Bob, we’re sorry you felt uncomfortable with Jason’s NPC flirting with you. You marked down on your Plot form that you were good with Romance Plots. Would you like to update your preferences? Is there something about this particular plot that made you uncomfortable?

Step 5: Plan and Act

Now you should have a sense of what went wrong, so you need to insure against this harm or similar ones happening in the future. These changes could be big or small but most likely mean new policies and practices.

Example:

Recently it has come to our attention that some people were not prepared for the claustrophobic elements of the Spike House adventure. Going forward we will give content warnings for elements that may be triggering to phobias before a module.

We’d love to hear from all of you. What are some examples of times when you’ve handled a problem well or seen one handled well? What steps or details apply in every situation that you think we missed?